May 25, 2013

Posts Comments

You are here: Home / Blog

A Touch of Nerves

April 29, 2013 By

I have spent the last two and a half months at home, at the dog park (oh my lordy the dog park), the grocery store and hanging with my parents. I have also spent that time sending out email after email after email searching for a job. Please tell me if anyone else just bloody hates that ALL applications are now online?

Anyway, luckily two weeks ago I received word that my search was over! Not only was it over, but it was at the company I have heard AMAZING things about so I’m really looking forward to meeting and working with everyone there. The kicker is, the excitement has built up and built up until today.

Today the nerves hit. I’m still excited but now I’m nervous as all get out as well. I got two welcome emails which have made me eager to start and yet nervous as well. I’m not just changing jobs this time, I’m completely changing careers. So the idea of walking in and having meetings immediately is both exhilarating (jumping right in) and terrifying (OMG I haven’t done this in six years!!!)

So right now I’m doing laundry, gathering all the papers I will need for tomorrow and basically getting myself set up for the next several days. And working. What a time this will be.

new sign 200x113 A Touch of Nerves

Filed Under: Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , 2 Comments

Accutane Update

April 17, 2013 By

I am sorry for anyone who has read these posts, or stumbled upon this blog because they too are going through this process, looking for updates. I’ve pulled pretty far away from the blog but I can’t say why. Anyway that has no matter here.

I’m four months in to the Accutane treatment process and I’ve steadily increased from the starting dose to the highest dose allowed. Translation – my acne defies medical treatment whenever possible. I’ve been on the highest dose one month and I still have a “mask” of sorts on my face that may be permanent scarring. Luckily its all under the surface so my skin is almost completely smooth, I just have a red U-shape down my cheeks and across my chin. I use make up to cover all this up.

Because of that mask I’ve been watching a TON of youtube videos on how to put on make-up, etc and since I don’t have photos of me yet I wanted to share the videos I’ve found most helpful first. Then in my next post I will have some photos and (despite the hate of how it looks) I will show you some before and after pictures sans make-up plus some recent photos showing me with make-up so you can see how well I do cover it up.

So to start – this it the BEST video for women / girls with severe acne who need to be inspired. This young lady taught herself how to put on make-up and she has since been on national TV and is a model. Don’t think your acne can hold you back – clearly you can thrive.

This next video is probably one of the best “instructional” people I subscribe too because she really does break it down how to do things like just basic foundation, eye make-up, brushes and what they do. I like her videos for the instructional purpose and the fact that I’ve always found I can use her steps easily. I actually prefer her method of foundation application over the first video.

Lastly, I’ve been watching this guy’s instructional videos. He is probably the one I watch the least but he is the one I go to for super specific problems because usually in his video history I can find where he has covered the topic. In this video he explains all the different ways you can apply foundation and what each method looks like on your skin so you can weigh the pros and cons of each method to find what is best for you.

So there you have it – what is going on with the Accutane treatments. Like I said, next post I will make sure to include some photos, but honestly I’m too lazy to do it today. Soon – I promise!

If anyone still reads this blog AND has any questions  regarding this whole process let me know. Also – don’t forget to follow the blog via BlogLovin’ since our beloved Google Reader is running away. You can find me HERE.

Ciao my friends!

new sign 200x113 Accutane Update

Filed Under: Marriage Matters, Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , , 1 Comment

Waiting on Pins and Needles

April 4, 2013 By

So, first let’s get the whole “oh my gosh Google Reader is leaving” out-of-the-way. Like many bloggers I’ve gone ahead and signed up with BlogLovin. You can find my profile HERE.

OK then – so the other thing that has been going on, which I’ve noted on my the blog’s Facebook Page is that Alex and I have both been going through job loss issues. Hello economy! Anyway, there is this company which I’ve wanted to work for, for quite a while, and that I’ve interviewed with twice in the past. Both instances in the past I’ve been in the “final two” but not been selected because they choose the internal candidate. 

Which I think is AWESOME! Why? Well because that means they promote from within, and really who wouldn’t want to work for a company that constant strives to allow their employees to better themselves and their careers? See…awesome.

Anyway, so recently I was contacted by said company because a job I had applied for was, you guessed it  - filled internally, BUT they had this other opportunity and was I interested in applying? So of course I answered yes and did a phone interview, etc. I was then called in for an “in person” interview this past Monday.

45 fremont 6 200x124 Waiting on Pins and Needles


photo:

Thomas Hawk

Y’all I prepped so hard for this interview its amusing. I made a custom designed resume in Photoshop to showcase my design skills based on what they are looking for using THEIR colors. I made a sales presentation using a previous employer of mine as the “customer” so I could show that I know how to 1. design a sales presentation 2. know a lot about the firm I am applying for and 3. can possibly bring a new client to them! Oh and on top of that I brought in samples of past Public Relations work I’ve done in the past. Y’all I busted CHOPS on this dang interview.

So now, I’m waiting and waiting to hear back. I did the whole proper follow-up email thing the day after the interview and got a response from the hiring manager (who was super sweet and liked that I have a southern accent and say y’all) saying the usual stuff but also reminding me to “stay tuned…” so of course that’s what I’m doing. But I’m going insane waiting.

I’ve clipped five magazines. Changed up the blog theme. Started three SMASH journals (more on that later). Gone “stress relief” shooting at the gun range. I’m about down to pulling out my hair. I am going to feel really dumb if I don’t get this job after all this hard work, plus I’m not sure what I’m going to do employment wise.

project life 2012 week 8 173x200 Waiting on Pins and Needles


photo:

vee*

I’ve tried to be smart by continuing to search and of course setting up additional interviews for next week as I’ve had them requested, but I really want this job. So I really hope I get a phone call tomorrow or I might just end up in a loony bin.

How have y’all been?

new sign 200x113 Waiting on Pins and Needles

Filed Under: Family, House and Home, Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , , 2 Comments

The Accutane Diaries

January 15, 2013 By

In my last post I referenced a few things that have been going on in recent times that warranted their own post(s). The big one is the fact that I’ve started Accutane again. This is for my severe acne – which is incredibly embarrassing to admit on one hand and not so much on the other.

Turns out mine is 1. hereditary combined with 2. a complication of my infertility issues which morphs into a HUGE issue. I managed to control it for several months using an acne drug that was designed to work on the hormones but in October and November

I thought about taking “before” photos but honestly I hate how I look in the mirror, I sure as shit wasn’t going to be documenting in photographic form. Even if those same photos might help me get perspective on where I was to where I am now.

Anyway, I actually just did my 2nd month blood work this morning so hopefully all will look good and I’ll start month two of six in the next day or so. I am happy about this because so far I have slow progress and next to no side effects.

I know, I’m sure y’all are just SOOOO excited to hear that right? That’s what I thought.

However, this blog post is more for me to look back in six months and see where I was to where I will be (fingers crossed) then.

I’ve still got some symptoms basically along my jaw line. I hate hate HATE it (thanks a lot genetics) because unlike most people mine isn’t easily covered up. Plus you know, I can’t just wear a t-shirt as people who get it on their arms, backs, etc can….its my face. I’d look awfully silly walking down the street with a paper bag over my head. (And don’t think that thought hasn’t crossed my mind during the worst moments.)

I’m getting my dosage upped for round 2 which should knock out the last of it and keep it gone which would make me very happy. I’d love to wear make up again.

The worst side effect so far is the dry lips but Palmers lip butter and Blistex medicated lip balm are my best friends. In fact, I use so much y’all just might want to check out their stocks as I am sure that I’m helping significantly. The only other side effect so far are a few migraines and joint pain when it’s really cold. All in all I’d say I’m doing great.

So I guess its one month down, five to go and hopefully no more acne EVER.
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Filed Under: Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , 4 Comments

Playing Catch Up

January 10, 2013 By

So um, hi y’all! How have things been since I decided to take a nose dive off the face of the planet? I have been keeping with everyone who have blogs and I’m so glad to see y’all had great Christmas’ and New Years’ celebrations!

I have so much to share that I’m almost a tad unsure where to start, but I guess I’ll try to summarize this up so y’all don’t get too bored.

Thanksgiving was a great time – I love celebrating holidays with my family. We did the standard of eating and drinking and then falling asleep because we were full on turkey and pie! I did not participate AT ALL in the holiday madness of Black Friday shopping but Cyber Monday and I were great friends.

I prefer my holiday shopping with pajamas on and wine glass in hand.

Christmas we were able to travel to Alex’s grandparents for the first time in a few years. It was a great trip but I have to tell y’all a funny story.

So we fly out of Atlanta, GA Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. You know the one that requires a tram….and several exits off the interstate? OK – so this is the airport I’m used too because it’s the one I’ve grown up with and its pretty much always been this large. In fact all this airport has done in recent years is grow larger. Anyway, so we flew into Louisville, KY.

As we are gliding in I start giggling on the plane at how small the airport is…this giggling does not stop as we walk off the plane and down the one terminal. In fact all it does is grow louder. Now normally Alex is the one making me duck my head in embarrassment, but this time I think he was ready to toss me in front of a plane because I just couldn’t stop.

It was only as we walked past security and the TWO guards (Atlanta has oh….about 25 – 50 at any time) that I lost it completely to the point that the exit guard had to ask my husband if I was ok. I think Alex was ready to throttle me because all I could get out was “so tiny. So so tiny.”

Now if any of y’all are from Louisville, please let me apologize. Your airport was lovely and the people were so very nice. I just…my brain could not compute. I blame the oxygen and little kids kicking my chair from the ride up.

Anyway, we had a lovely time in Indiana, but the day before we were to leave a blizzard hit. I am from the South. I can barely handle a dusting so inches in a matter of hours had me dang near panicking. I think Alex’s grandfather and I had a marathon of watching the weather though I’m sure we were not watching it for quite the same reasons. All in all the area we were in had 10+ inches by the time it was time to leave the next morning. (If you want a giggle picture me on that drive to the airport. Now picture my poor hubby.)

New Years was very low-key, but I did not get quite the midnight I was hoping for, planning on, etc. I can’t explain why I was so dead set on having the ultimate midnight kiss (OK I know some of the reasons but I can’t share) anyway, suffice to say I really REALLY wanted that kiss. Up until the 5 minute mark I was drinking water pretty steadily and so I ran to the little gal’s room really fast thinking no issue. Yup. Totally missed my kiss. I think I bawled for 10 minutes much to my poor hubby’s befuddlement and attempts to fix a situation he was totally over his head in given I had no logic to my feelings.

So New Years was a bit of a … well flood. New Years Day we had Christmas with my family which was also low-key before heading back to work the next day.

And there you have it – the last few months minus a few small details which are their own blog post in a few months. Hope y’all are well!

Filed Under: Family, Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , , Share Something Y'all

November

November 4, 2012 By

I can barely believe its November but here we are with Halloween come and gone and Thanksgiving well on its way.

Speaking of Halloween, did y’all celebrate? As with every year a key part of my day was wishing my Daddy a very happy birthday. Alex really wanted to dress up that day so he had a costume planned for months. Which meant all day long this is who I was speaking too.

Waldo 373x500 November

Yup. I found him. You are welcome.

I ended up in a cute yet warm snow bunny / Eskimo costume. So freezing temps and I’m in a hood, long sleeves, and furry boots! I have only one photo of myself and its horrid so I’m not sharing. You’re welcome.

Let’s see what else is going on….Ah well I voted on Tuesday which is saying something as I effectively squealed into the polling station at 5 minutes to close. The new job is a whopping 50 minute drive each way with next to no traffic so it was quite, frustrating, and yet relieving to arrive in time to vote.

I wish I had more to share. The thing is, I don’t. We DO stuff each weekend, but I can’t get my brain to process anything any more. Sadly that means this blog gets neglected. So does my camera. So does our house. Pretty much I’m getting up, walking the dog, going to work, getting home and cooking / eating dinner before falling in bed. The weekends I try to catch up on everything else.

In fact I have 2 baskets of clean (and now crumpled) laundry. A dryer with clean (and crumpled) laundry, a washer with laundry that will be getting washed again and boat-loads more to do. The sink is full of dishes. The dishwasher is full of clean dishes, which is at least a start, and to be quite frank I can’t figure out why I’m struggling to do it all.

I know I want kids, but days like today and well every other day lately make me look around and go “How the hell do full-time parents DO it?” I honestly don’t get it.

On that note – I’m off to eat my doctor suggested yogurt to go with my doctor prescribed antibiotics before falling asleep. Sweet blessed sleep. Hopefully I’ll start figuring stuff out again soon.

new sign 200x113 November

Filed Under: Marriage Matters, Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , , , 1 Comment

Birthday Balloons

October 29, 2012 By

So the slightly funny story from the last post I was going to tell y’all about? It happened last weekend and as many a story in the south starts, this one begins with “What had happened was…”

My college alumni has a local Atlanta group that hosts / schedules events at various places in the Atlanta area so we can gather and mingle. Some events are with other alumn’s only and others involve friends and family too. Last weekend was one of those “gather with friends and family” events and it was going to be hosted at Stone Mountain.

We had a LOT going on last Saturday so I wasn’t sure if we’d attend, but I brought it up to Alex. At 5:30 we basically made the  decision that we would indeed go join this fun little party that started at 6. As we loaded up the car we booted up our GPS and realized problem #1. We didn’t have ANY idea of an address to enter for and thus be directed to in order to GET to the event.

As we started driving my gas light came on and then the car started shuddering. Truly this was going to be an interesting drive. At the gas station Alex pumped gas and then checked out the transmission fluid only to learn I was almost empty. Now we had to stop at an auto store on our way to Stone Mountain.

Multiple stops, lots of Atlanta traffic and several wrong turns later we pull into the park. Now we grab all of our gear (two blankets, camera, snacks, etc) and start walking to the big field where we are all supposed to meet. Now – per the Facebook info we were all going to be meeting under some balloons. Balloons that are green, purple, white, and red.

Catch is – we get there after dark. So….finding balloons, damn near impossible in a crowd of thousands. Nonetheless we make a valiant effort as we wind our way down to the bottom of the field. On our way down I THOUGHT I saw some balloons, but they were birthday balloons and well there was no way I would stumble my way into someone’s birthday party.

We ended up catching a seat without finding anyone to watch the show.

20121020 Stone Mountain 0019 Birthday Balloons

This happens to be a laser show that uses both laser, projected images, and all of it is projected on to the side of Stone Mountain.

20121020 Stone Mountain 0021 Birthday Balloons

20121020 Stone Mountain 0028 Birthday Balloons

They call this technology “MountainVision.”

20121020 Stone Mountain 0031 Birthday Balloons20121020 Stone Mountain 0038 Birthday Balloons

All of the show is set to music and often times its fun music you know so they crowd will sing along. The last bit of the show is various American pride songs including but not limited to the national anthem and God Bless America. The entire crowd stands during these songs and if you are me, you sing.

Then the entire show ends with a very very big bang. This bang is extremely loud if you are sitting basically front and center…which we were.

20121020 Stone Mountain 0045 Birthday Balloons

After this last moment we rushed to a bathroom because I was dying and may I just ask – WHY do women’s bathrooms take so damn long? Ladies its get in, use it, get the hell out. This is not a primping station. We headed home like everyone else and once we got home I came to a striking, and ironic, realization.

My alumni group posted this great photo on Facebook before kindly explaining what had happened to the “balloon” issue and thus why we could not find anyone. You see…they had bought BIRTHDAY BALLOONS because they had difficulty locating regular balloons but forgot to let people know.

/FacePalm. In other words – WE WERE RIGHT THERE and I walked away for fear of interrupting a private party. That teaches me to be polite. :-p

And that my friends is the story of MountainVision.

new sign Birthday Balloons

Filed Under: Random Thoughts by Stephanie, Traveling Lee's Tagged With: , , 5 Comments

Total Insanity

October 24, 2012 By

Oh. My. Gosh. So the new job – it just doesn’t stop railroading its way through my life. I have literally not had a moment to respond to a voice mail let alone think about extra-curricular things like the blog since my first day on Monday.

The funny thing? I’m loving it.

I don’t know what little quirk in my personality made me someone who thrives on rapid-response high-stress situations but that’s exactly who I am. Maybe that’s part of what made me love baby-sitting and even now (despite everything) dream of the day when I will have a chance to be a Mom. All because those little moments in the day when you’re literally losing your left and right hands trying to figure out logistics and you have NO idea how you’re going to get to the other side…those moments? I come out with an adrenaline high a roller coaster junkie would recognize.

I’m screwed up.

Outside of that life has been relatively sane. The situation from the other day has been resolved…the how is a private matter (yes I know, here of all places I draw a line.) but suffice to say I’m relatively satisfied. I think I would have been pretty content with a few other alternatives but those aren’t to be so toss your hands up, roll those shoulders and keep on trucking is my philosophy.

The other great thing about this weekend was seeing my best-friend Shelly and her daughter again. Y’all her daughter is so freaking gorgeous and while I am a tad biased, her eyes. Oh her beautiful baby blue eyes have Auntie Stephanie wanting to buy her every giant bear in the mall. Luckily sanity and the knowledge of what her Mommy’s reaction would have been stopped me. Which left my wallet VERY thankful. We had a great time chatting and window-shopping in the mall before grabbing lunch. I love Shelly to death and though sometimes its hard because we do live several hours apart, and she is on a journey I can’t really relate to right now – I am so glad we’re able to have moments like we did this past weekend and prove that true friendships are the end all be all no matter what. I got lucky when I asked her to move in with me that freshman year!

We did do another thing this past weekend, but its such a funny story that I really need to make it a blog post. I’ll just whet your appetite by saying it involved “Mountain-Vision.”

I think once I get more up to date life wise I’ll be able to get back in the swing of things here but for now that gives you a quick idea of where things are.

How about y’all? How are YOU doing?

new sign Total Insanity

Filed Under: Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , , , , 1 Comment

Internal Struggles

October 19, 2012 By

Tonight, well ok the last 48 hours or so have been hard. I recently found out from Alex that he and a friend are talking again.

(Shocking I know!…please sense the sarcasm at myself.)

Anyway, you’d think this would be no big deal but reality is for me it IS a big deal. It’s a big deal because both this friend and Alex are friendly and open and naturally “bubbly” personality wise. Which means to me, it often feels like its “flirty” even when everyone else is staring at me and thinking “WTF is your problem woman?!” So I’m struggling.

Bad memories trigger at the weirdest times and for the weirdest reasons. Alex and I, we HAVE been doing well so long as you take the “baby” debate out of the equation. So its frustrating to have this ROAR of doubt and fear and just general anxiety bubble up inside me the second certain relationships crop up. It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to Alex and his friend…its not fair but reality is the anxieties do pop up and I can’t stop it.

{On a total tangent - just to clarify – when I say I want children and he doesn’t neither of us are referring to right here and now. I’m referring to this lifetime and so is he. So no kids will be procreated unless 1. we’re both on board and 2. our marriage is strong and stable. Just sayin.}

I talked to Alex about it a little last night and I ended up crying as I explained to him that truly and honestly if he EVER feels like he wants to flirt with other women, if he ever feels like he emotionally wants a “break” then please just tell me. Give me the chance to walk away because I will. To his credit he stared at me like I was nuts, reassured me and then cuddled me before badgering me into eating. (I don’t eat when I’m stressed.) So in all reality he’s doing everything right and I’m just stuck in a rut. No one’s fault…it just is. I don’t think I could ever live through that kind of revelation again because I STILL don’t have confidence in me back yet. Its getting there. The job thing was HUGE for me. But the fear that “one day” will happen is also still there and it’s NOT there because of any current situations or anything like that. No its there because I’m still fighting demons.

So yea – the last 48 hours have been a bitch and I’m just kind of stuck in the mud. I’m trying to be excited about Monday but between old demons and nerves I’m stuck. Damn emotions.

new sign 200x113 Internal Struggles

Filed Under: Marriage Matters Tagged With: , , , , 3 Comments

Turning the Page

October 18, 2012 By

So um in case you haven’t heard, which truly I don’t know how you’d have missed it what with my freak out moments appearing on Twitter and Facebook but I quit my job.

I got a new job.

Oh shit.

I can’t believe that this time has arrived. Friday will be my last day with the company that really gave me a “start” post college. Its been over 5 and a half years and here I am, sitting in bed (Alex is watching a lame-o movie hence me in the bedroom) and when I wake up all I will have left to do is remove my pens and have lunch with a few co-workers.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!?!?

Oh don’t mind me…I’m just in the process of freaking the hell out. On one hand I totally feel like this is a “God” plan. I have had two previous opportunities to interview with companies and both times didn’t pan out. Once was because there was another (better) candidate and the second time was my choice to not move on / out. I wanted to stay with the company and {former} boss I had. I liked where I was. Then this new opportunity jumped up and presented itself three and a half weeks ago. At the same time I found out the company I’m leaving was dumping me from salary to hourly. Oh and restructuring AGAIN. And I was being completely man-handled out of the program I effectively managed (not in title) for a year on my own. So truly this opportunity at this time and in this place was His plan, but still. WHAT AM I THINKING?!?!?!

You know, now that I do think on it – the last time I had an “opportunity” was rather ironically the day I found out about the affair. I walked away from that interview chance because I didn’t want any change or upheaval in my professional life, my personal life was managing that quite well on its own thank you very much. Now here we are a little over a year later and the door is open and I’m walking through. The personal life still rocks more than I’d like but damned if I’m not going to take this one for myself this time.

Its exciting and scary. I feel pressure because I walked out of the interview being informed by the interviewer that I was “the best interview {he’d} ever had.” So um hi there, pressure? Yea thanks a lot, I’d like you to meet fears of great expectations. Oh plus its kind of like I’m taking my career on a sharp right turn so it’s all new in a heck of a lot of ways. So there is that fear too.

Basically I’m a royally anxious mess who is praying that Monday ends up being “just another day” but at a new company with new people. One that my brain is way over-hyping. Cause that’s what I do. Over-hype.

Anyway I’ll let y’all know how it goes. Unless of course I pull a whole Linda Blair a-la Reagan moment from the stress. Then I’ll be a wee bit busy re-affixing my head.

(Please tell me you got that movie reference. Free imaginary cake for the ones who do!)

new sign 200x113 Turning the Page

Filed Under: Random Thoughts by Stephanie Tagged With: , 2 Comments
«Older Posts