My brain is so darn busy right now. I can’t seem to focus on anything, but I’m sure this will change soon as the new meds kick in.
This past weekend was just slam full of things to do. I went shopping with my Momma at Garden Ridge and managed to find the perfect holiday sign.
This really would save Santa a ton of time!
The main reason we went to the store though was for flowers for my Brother’s grave. Rather than go with the pre-made flowers I wanted to make a bouquet which is what I sat and did Sunday evening.
The entire weekend the cats would not leave us alone. Harley insisted on chilling with Daddy and well Beezle. I think he had an issue with me taking a private bath and as such climbed right on into the tub!
On an update note, per the doctor the meds were what was making me darn near looney! However, quitting cold turkey was not my smartest move either. I had thought I was getting the flu since I was dizzy all the time, achy, so darn tired and just plain ol sick feeling but that was just me coming off the meds. YUCKO! Word to the wise, do not cold turkey quitting unless you give yourself a few days to get off them.
Other than that we’ve been prepping for Christmas. We were able to start wrapping gifts since we’re done shopping. Well Alex still has a gift to buy, but that’s on his “to-do” list not mine! Plus, despite being on vacation yesterday I worked from home for a while just to ensure I didn’t lose my mind when I went back to work today.
All in all it was a great weekend, if only I could FOCUS!
The past two weeks have been exhausting for me. I have literally not stopped moving. From morning to bedtime I am either walking, tapping, pacing, or twirling my thumbs and its all but a subconscious movement at this point.
Its gotten so bad that I don’t stop even when I’m asleep. Poor Alex hasn’t been getting a lot of rest either.
Last Friday Alex had a suspicion that he might know what was going on. So he basically held me still (well he tried, I was still tapping my fingers) and asked me to puh-lease call the doctor already. Clearly something was going on with my antidepressants.
Since I’m naturally a tad, erm stubborn, rather than call a doctor I decided to check out the internet for a tad more information rather than just do the simple thing and call a doctor. Turns out Alex was right!
Here that honey? You were right!
After research and a quick phone call the doctor basically said “GET OFF THE PILLS CHICK!” Turns out the inability to sit still is about as severe a side effect as if I were weepy all the time and having suicidal thoughts.
Y’all who knew antidepressants were so freaking weird? I mean we all knew I am that weird, but clearly the meds are keeping up with me. I go to the doctor Monday morning to figure out the next step in this journey.
I’d love to say I’m doing great. I don’t need meds anymore! Somehow thought, I get the feeling that might be the medicine doing its job. Making me FEEL great.
So we’ll see – I do know I will (as will Alex) be eternally grateful for the end of this constant movement.
How are things going for y’all?
As I mentioned the last few weeks have been, well anything but easy. As I often do when I need some solace I reach out to music as a way to calm my heart and mind enough to simply process the day.
And lately the drugs too.
The other day as I was having a particularly difficult moment I was listening to my Pandora station on the radio and a song from Shrek came on. Immediately I closed my eyes and just felt at peace. Then I hopped on YouTube to look up a video for the song that I could just listen to over and over again.
I found this version of the song and at first wasn’t all that impressed. Then Kurt Nilsen (He is the fourth singer / solo) began to sing and I felt rocked to my core. Something about the way he sings “Maybe there’s a God above…It’s a cold and broken Hallejuah” just….reaches me.
I’m curious, what songs do you turn to when you just need to feel not alone. Perhaps it’s a fast song or perhaps it’s a slow song but let’s create a song list. What would you add to up-lift the spirit?
Oh and just for your viewing / listening pleasure…Hallelujah.