Our 4-Wheel Drive Through Love, Life, & Marriage
This photo sums up how I feel in a lot of ways, and while at first glance it might seem a tad erm….creepy? A tad creepy, yes, if you look at it with the right mindset you’ll see how happy this image really is.
So without further ado (Thanks Savannah, GA Art students for providing me a wonderful graffiti artwork to photograph)!
I had a lovely weekend plan in that I was able to meet my adorable “niece.” (I’m an honorary Auntie because Shelly is generous and I’d like to think we are sisters of the heart even if not of the blood. All this means I shall spoil her and hug her and love her till I fall over from lovings!) Y’all remember the maternity photos I took last month, you know this cute couple?
Well the little girl has made her appearance and me oh my she is ADORABLE.
Since I was traveling down there on Mother’s Day weekend I felt like bringing a little something special to Shelly to honor her status as a brand new Mommy. So I scoured Pinterest for ideas and diaper cakes were about all I could come up with. That didn’t seem quite right so I polled her for what she would like.
The answer…diapers and wipes! (Shows me how little I know.)
Anyway, so I thought I’d get her the requested items but I would package it in a super fun way. I stopped at the craft store for a bag, some paints, stencils (I have horrid penmanship…its embarrassing) and the most important thing to every gift, some ribbon!
Once I got home I pulled out the Purple paint as a way to honor her and I’s sisterhood (Purple Knights baby!) and got to work. When all was said and done I had an adorable bag that shouted out (I hope) how happy I am for her brand new title.
Secondly I piled wipes and diapers into a neat little pile before wrapping them with the ribbon. I wanted them to look pretty at least for the delivery part!
I had a moment or two where I wondered what I was thinking in getting such a small bag, but luckily it all fit together. So I ended up with a cute tote full of the requested items to both help Shelly out AND say “I’m so happy for your new role of Mom!”
I won’t deny on the way down I shed a few tears and lectured myself. I also prayed. I didn’t pray not to be sad or anything like that, because its ok that I’m sad about my situation. What I prayed for though, was that the joy and love and absolute happiness I have in my heart shine through to Shelly and Michael and their daughter. And you know what…
When I got to hold their daughter it was love at first sight. I don’t think anything but joy could have come out when I was around her! I can’t wait to see her again and I hope she’ll always know how much Aunt Stephanie adores her. Is she seriously not ADORABLLE!?!?
My Church (Ok I feel weird calling it my church especially since I’ve been lame about attending lately. Shame on me), City on a Hill, has a women’s group. In the past I’ve never really involved myself in women’s groups because um, well they were all older ladies and I didn’t exactly fit in.
However, last weekend My Momma said “Come with me please” to an event and well who am I to say no to her? (OK just ask her about my 13-year-old self…I said no. A LOT.)
So my Mother and I gathered with a bunch of ladies from the church in our finery.
We received presents…because we’re special!
A message was shared and the words conveyed that we are all HIS daughters. And since He is a King, we’re all princess’. (See Mom! I always told you I was a princess!)
And then we were all granted jewels so that all who passed by might know we are indeed royalty.
Personally I think I look quite regal as a Princess.
What did you do for Mother’s Day?
This post is part of the PYHO link up. In other words, I’m about to pour it out and feel really self-conscious so be nice. Also, if you haven’t already check out the TWO Giveaways I’m hosting. One for business cards and one for stickers.
“Standing with the wallflowers
Wishing you would’ve stayed at home
You kick yourself for coming
When you’re standing there all alone
The centers of attention are busy making all their moves “
I’m so horribly incredibly shy. Many people don’t believe me when I say this about myself…in fact I’ve been accused (even in the last month) of being a Bis-natch because in social situations I freeze up. I don’t talk. I don’t go introduce myself to new people. So because I simply am not talking people think I’m being rude and stand-offish. Because I’d rather sit and read or stare at my phone than engage makes me a bad person. At least this is the perception that many give back to me.
This has caused some issues for Alex and me. The reality is I married the life of the party (no I’m serious y’all. Man is like PARTY central.) He wishes I’d just TRY to talk to someone then I’d have fun. Which I’m fairly certain translates into something more like “please stop clinging!” The thing is I really do admire this trait of his, the ability to walk into a room full of strangers and chat someone up. To find a connection IMMEDIATELY. It is because of that ability he gets frustrated that we go out to parties and I don’t have a great time. He is and does, whereas I’m literally counting the minutes until I get to go home.
Classic example, we went to one of his friends’ house for dinner. Alex, me, our H.G. and Alex’s two friends. Everyone else was in the kitchen just chatting and I slowly backed out. I worked my way to the back deck and just sat.
“Finally!” I thought to myself. “I can breathe.”
Source: dailymail.co.uk via Stephanie on Pinterest
And that was true. I couldn’t breathe in that house and kitchen. It was just 5 people and I was so damn uncomfortable. Everybody else was laughing and smiling and FINE. I….was better off hiding outside by myself.
No one in that house made me feel uncomfortable by an action they did – but, they don’t know me. I feel that I have no filter and thus when I do talk I will go on and on about a subject that you are secretly thinking I really should never have brought up.
An example of that are Band camp stories.
While hilarious, they give off the wrong perception about me and not only that but no one really cares about those “one time at band camp” stories. So then after the polite laughter when the conversation turns to a totally new subject, I retreat mentally to re-evaluate what I’ve said. There in my mind I realize that I should have shut up long before I did. Not only that, but now I’ve made someone uncomfortable. Oh gosh and to top it all off now they think I’m an idiot. In fact now they avoid having to talk to me alone for fear that oh jeez oh pete what will she say next.
Source: zazzle.com via Stephanie on Pinterest
This lack of filter has, in my opinion, caused such issues in friendships that people have stopped being my friend. Why? For no other reason than I don’t seem to know when a story needs to STAY buried. It also spills over at work – I don’t want to be the annoying co-worker that shares way too much. But yet, I talk. It’s like my mouth has a spam setting because it won’t shut up.
Then on the opposite side of the spectrum I clam up. So damn scared I’ll offend someone or that I’ll over-share I don’t talk at all. Which is flat-out silly because y’all, I have a degree in interpersonal communication. A DEGREE IN TALKING!!
That isn’t to say I can’t open up. It just takes A LOT. I can name on one hand the people who (outside of family) know the REAL me. The me who laughs and earned the nickname sparkles. The me who was confident in who she was and what she was. Lately all that confidence has melted away and I’m floundering even more than normal. I’m still trying to figure out precisely who I am.
I hate that I even have to say this, but, whether you are participating or just reading, please keep in mind that the people linking really are sharing something from the heart. So, please, BE RESPECTFUL. We might not agree with each other, but we can all accept someone’s right to have a different opinion than we do and NOT attack someone because of this. Play nice. 
It’s no secret that Alex and I are struggling. We’re fighting our way out of a deep dark hole and some days one or the other of us wants to throw in the towel.
However, it’s also no secret that we still love one another. Alex is so often very giving to me that the other night, after he went to bed and I was restless I decided I really ought to give him a little surprise.
We’re kind of broke (I am SO GLAD I asked him to handle money) so I got creative.
“Hmmm, what do we have in this house I could use?” I thought to myself.
PEARS! We have pears. And cardstock. And I can design a card.
“Self, what should it say?” I thought. And so I scrambled on the internet for a funny quote, but nothing was quite right. Until, I realized – HA! I know what I can use. (It’s not my best work, but it is the thought that counts…I hope!)
{Click the photo to download a copy for yourself!}
So I pulled out a pear, wrapped it in my little note, tied it with some leftover raffia, and tucked it away in his lunch box.
Do you ever think to surprise your spouse this way? What could you use that is on hand and what would you say?
Have y’all heard of Cassandra Bankson? I saw a story about her on MSN the other day and let me tell you just HOW much better I felt about myself in seeing her YouTube videos. (You should check them out here). She even taught me the importance of primer.
(Oh why did I not know of primer before now…I’ve fallen in love with primer.)
You see, Cassandra has cystic acne like me! And she is a model! I was shocked when I watched her video on the Today show because for years and years I’ve struggled with how my face looks like. I did a post last year about the “real” me and I cried after posting it because I hate how I look so very much. Anyway, after seeing Cassandra’s post about how to put on the make up. I thought I could show you what I use.
I’m clearly no model, but I do put make up on every day and its typically “drug store” style make up. So don’t think you have to spend 50 jillion dollars on make up to cover up your face. This is before my make up products. SHUDDER!!!
Now I clean my face and then in the order of the items below, I put my make up on. I use my fingers to pat on the primer, foundation, and concealer. Then its on to my powder (I swap between loose and compact) before adding the final touches. I get a lot of you may think this is a LOT of make up, but when you see pizza face up there staring at you in the mirror you can understand why I put it on. Luckily L’Oreal’s foundation is AMAZING with its coverage and doesn’t irritate my skin more.
So here are my products.
The best part of all this routine is 1. it takes me 10 minutes tops and 2. it doesn’t feel like I have make up on. Plus the boost in self-confidence makes it worth putting on even for a run to the grocery store.
And here is what I look like after my make up. (and in my car)
So much better!! What is your beauty routine?
Why hello roller coaster of life…would you mind stopping the ride now?! In all seriousness, one of the things that’s kind of stopped up my brain lately has been stress. Stress from my job, stress regarding some personal things, stress from something silly like “What do I want to eat” … stress is eating me alive.
Source: polyvore.com via Gina on Pinterest
So Saturday I asked Alex to take on a more active role with our finances. I’ve handled these for a number of years because 1. I had more time and 2. I am better at it than he is.
(Not trying to come across snobby here, just stating what has been a well-known fact in our marriage.)
Alex has been asking and showing a lot more interest lately and finally on Saturday I just said
“Will you take over managing our finances?”
He knows that this is probably one of my biggest stressors / reasons to worry. Why – couldn’t tell you. I had a great childhood so that isn’t the root of my money fears, but man do I have money fears. So this is a HUGE step for me.
Alex has really stepped it up though and taken the initiative to get a planner, to ask me about our current set up, to define a way that he can use to manage the money, and to ask me to keep watching while he learns the ropes so to speak. The worry is still there, but man I feel better now!
How about you, What’s something you’d like someone to take off your hands?
Today is an “Its Ok Tuesday” type day for me. I got this idea from Airing My Dirty Laundry so here we go:
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That’s it for today – link up your own post at Dirty Laundry’s site.
The past few weeks we've kind of been lackadaisical in our Love Dare. In fact, we've considered quitting. It's just been really hard to share the … [Read More...]
This blog is our story about the everyday magic that follows the magic of our wedding day. Our lives aren't perfect, but we’re learning and as we
